Witch Hunt

I’ve been sitting at my desk doing a lot of this and that, meaning I had enough time to come up with this crazy idea of a witch hunt. This is not your ordinary fantasy witch hunt in movies, although I kind of wished it was. I’m talking about those people who do some serious witch hunt trying to dig out the nasty in your past, present, and probably even future, who knows, witches are that crazy!

The general law of life, forgive me if it doesn’t apply to everyone, is that people are good unless proven otherwise, just like in criminal law, a person is innocent unless proven guilty. Many are the times we go looking for the bad in people, instead of the good, trying to self-gratify ourselves that we are always right and perfect and well, everyone else is pathetic like we always thought! I have to admit it’s not solely our fault. Humans socialize; we learn from other people, people feed us information. Love it or hate it, we gossip! As much as some of us may be fast in defending ourselves from participating in any kind of ‘idle talk’ as my dictionary puts it, none of us is immune to this and we kind of like it to some extent. Not that it relates to this, but did you know the word gossip in British dialect means godparent. I can already picture myself saying, “ Hey, that’s my gossip :-D.” Lol.

Anyway, I call it witch hunt because I think it’s the lowest form of human life one can degrade oneself to, although the three sisters in the Charmed show made it look ridiculously awesome. Regardless, like I said, we are not in the fantasy world, this is no charmed show. It is not ridiculously good but ridiculously annoying. Some people can’t just let you live and let be. They will even witch hunt in places that don’t even register your scent and find you! They are that good!

I am not here to bash anyone. I just felt that this witch hunt word should be included in the urban dictionary to mean exactly what I tried to explain it to be :-). I am no saint. I have participated in witch hunts at some point. In the end, it is actually satisfying getting to know someone’s dirt, but in the long run people move on and you remain stuck there in their mud after watering it from all the gossip. Move on all yee witches, it ain’t worth the ride when you are stuck and the other party is moving, even if their movement is like baby steps, they are still moving and you are, guess what, STILL STUCK! Reality check, witch hunt is a pain in the mud. I rest my case.

I Am Bush_Locked

When Praises go up

I am amazed beyond words by what I have discovered today. I had been believing in God for something for the past week. I had prayed all kinds of prayers, asking God for what I wanted. I asked for a miracle, for a sign, I cried, I almost made a plea bargain with the most high. Whatever I needed, I needed it bad, real bad, and so I kept on with the same prayer line. It felt like a cycle, kept praying the same prayer over and over again but I wasn’t getting what I wanted. It’s true about the saying that you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Then it hit me, I was doing it all wrong. There’s one thing that I still had not done for the all mighty; I had not PRAISED Him.

Right there I got down on my knees next to my bed, with tears still flowing, I started to pray a prayer of praise. I remember telling my God how I don’t even know how to praise him in prayer, but I asked Him to accept my praise, as that is how I knew best. I started praising Him my own way, I cried, I still drifted away sometimes while I was praising him and went back to praying as I was before, then I would remember that this particular prayer was about praise, and I would quickly get back to praising him. I remember at some point I ran out of words of praise and I ended up saying Psalms 23, a verse I had learnt by heart when I was a kid:

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness, for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Thou anoints my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord, forever and ever, Amen.”

With that, I ended my prayer and about two hours later, part of what I was believing for was revealed to me. I cried so hard. I had been selfish, just asking asking and asking God for some more when I had barely given Him all the praise for just being who He is, and for everything else He has done for me in my life. I now know better, and I thank God for the revelation.

When praises go up…blessings come down 🙂 🙂 🙂

I Am Bush_Locked 😉

When it’s Good, it’s Good, till it Goes Bad

It’s been quite a while since I did my last post. I guess it takes a special someone to realize that you are driving off-course and you need to get back on track. I dedicate this post to one of my readers, thanks for reminding me that I do have a blog and that I need to keep doing what I love to do 😀

I had to pause for a while to think about what I really wanted to write about. I am very emotional today. I realize though, that it doesn’t always have to be about me. Someone else might be going through the same situation as I and I want to reach out to another being.

I was at home for my off-days the past one week and I have to admit that it wasn’t the best time I’ve had. I am however glad that I got to spend time with my family, which was better than the time I spent away from them. I had been dating this guy for a month or so, but at the end of my one week off, I felt drained, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, a case of a good deal gone horribly wrong.

I have however taken home a few life lessons. I don’t want to be the quick dial on someone’s phone just because they know I’m around and they want some servicing, be it physically or financially. Some nights I stayed up, waiting for a call that was never coming. Ever heard of the saying that goes, “The sun is blinding?” Exactly how I felt that past whole week. This is not the way I want to live my life.

I keep lying to myself that I am okay now, I feel SAFE, now that I am back in the bush, but running away from my problems isn’t going to solve any of them. I have to accept I made a few mistakes, blindly, naively; either I live with them or I keep running. There is no safe haven in either of the two choices, but one will liberate me faster than the other.

Silence is scary. No one has to go through this; trying to figure out what is really happening. Silence is golden too. It screams the truth, the truth that you know deep down but you do not want to admit. You only got yourself to blame if you can’t see and admit that you know the scary truth behind the silence.

So here I am again, back to square one, trying to find me again, the me I once knew just over a month ago. Crying isn’t pretty, but I know at some point I will have to hear myself cry again, not because I am weak, but because I really want to, just this once to finally let go.

I read a post by Chris Hart that perfectly summarizes my past one week. Here is what he had to say…

“Start by no longer accepting what people tell you at face value…evaluate everything. Especially things that the whole world seems to agree on…Ordinary people never question authority. They’re easily intimidated and scared. So be different…Because you don’t have to live your life by other people’s rules. Instead, choose your own path.”

I Am Bush_Locked 🙂

Just another Easy Sunday Morning

The past few days I’ve been having like the worst ever headaches concentrated on my forehead, with puffy eyes and generally feeling like sleeping all the time. I wear specs occasionally, and I haven’t been wearing them for quite a while, so that could be one of the reasons. It has also been very hot where I am, and it could have been dehydration, but I have been trying my best to take as much water as possible. Today I am feeling much better, apart from my eyes still being puffy, the headache is gone. I hope it’s going to stay that way for quite a while.

I am going home in a few days, which I am pretty excited about. It will only be for a week and I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends. I will be going for an extreme bicycle riding event over the weekend in a very dry area on uneven roads. It will be a grueling 72kms. I have never done anything like this before and so I had to ask my friend who is a professional cyclist to accompany me for the ride to help me with the pace and also to push me to complete the full 72kms. He says he has never done 72kms himself, so I have no idea what I am getting myself into. Wish me luck! I will update in a weeks’ time how it all goes.

I will be turning older soon, mixed emotions. I am happy that I will be home with my family, which is a great deal to me; I am not so sure whether I am happy about turning older, but I am grateful all the same for the beautiful years I have been able to see. I am thinking of making them dinner, something that will not inconvenience anyone as some of them will be tired from work and school. I hope I don’t burn down the house; cooking is not my favorite task, but for them on my special day, I will try my best.

I Am, Bush_Locked.

The Lady Next Door

Her name is Susan. She has only been living next door to me for a couple of months but she has been more than a blessing to me. Whenever I have long hours in the office and no time to do my laundry, she offers to do it for me. Whenever I am away for long periods, I leave my keys with her and she cleans my room for me just before I get back. Whenever I am too tired to even go fetch a meal for myself, she brings me food to my room. She has the most beautiful heart, the most beautiful spirit, the kindest of words. She is lovely with the kids she takes care of. Sometimes I feel like I burden her with too much work, but she always says it’s nothing. I am deeply humbled to have such a person in my life, someone who comes in and lightens my days whenever I feel like I can’t do it all. She has been working for months now in a different department from me without pay and she never really complains. I help her out whenever I can, but I wish I could do a little bit more for her.

Tomorrow she will be going for her pre-wedding. Lucky is the man who will have her hand in marriage, and forever more. I did not carry enough cash to camp with me, but I blessed her with whatever little I had, and I will continue blessing her as much as she has been a blessing to my life. Every person needs a Susan in their life. I am glad I got mine for now, even if it will not be for the long-term, but for now I am truly thankful for her. May God grant her every desire of her heart, and may her marriage be filled with lots of love and happiness even in the midst of trials. God bless you Susan 🙂

I Am, Bush_Locked.

3 in 1

Yesterday I did not get to post anything. I had so much going on for one day that I did not want to limit myself to just one thing. Three things stood out for me. A friend of mine had just withdrawn some cash to go pay for her dad’s surgery, only that she dropped the cash and some strangers picked it up. They were confronted but still did not give her cash back. Luckily their images were caught on CCTV and they are still being sought after. Long story short, it’s amazing how human beings come together when one of us really needs a helping hand. I do not talk to this friend of mine as much as I do with others, but I felt compelled to help her by just sharing the Facebook post she had on her wall, and word does go round pretty fast on social media. I really hope she does get her money back 🙂

Inbox (_) was the other thing that stood out. I had been waiting for this message but it never did come. Mixed feelings, reminded me that human beings are not perfect, neither are they mind readers. However, a person who really cares for you should not have to make you wait a whole day for just a text message, but, c’est la vie 🙂

Ever heard of the saying that goes ‘if you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all’? Yes, I had a very unpleasant guest at my room who kept complaining and saying all the wrong things, I just smiled and listened. It’s a pity that some people think the world revolves around them. Oh be careful little mouth what you say 🙂

I Am, Bush_Locked

How are you…Really?

I am having one of those days where everyone seems to be asking the wrong question…but it is in no way their fault. Which got me thinking, how comes people do not notice the sadness behind the smiles, the love behind anger, the deep hurt behind every okay, the muffled words behind every silence, the NOs behind the Yes’. Today, I really wish someone had asked me ”How are you…really” even if it meant me breaking down and saying nothing about it.

Not every day has a silver lining. Sometimes I think I am strong enough on my own, but I am not. For some reason I think that if I am not strong enough and people see the weakness in me then they will crumble. And for this reason, I will stay strong, until I can finally find someone who sees beyond the smiles, the anger, the okays, the yes’, someone who is not afraid to tredd that deep with me :).

I Am Bush_Locked

This Month Called August

I don’t remember the last time I had good night sleep. This month has been torturous, to say the least, but all the same rewarding. I cannot wait for my 2 weeks break starting in September. Reminds me of Green day’s lyrics, ”Wake me up when September ends,” only that I sing it out loud putting in August instead.

For now, I hold on to the little joys I find at night, with the 5 year old kid next door who prays like a preacher, you know, those long prayers with preachings in between, to the point whereby we just have to say Amen even before he is done praying, lol, that kid is too hilarious and unbelievable, but challenging all the same. He is blessed. I do not know where such a kid gets all this wisdom from . He makes my nights. Just maybe because of him my August will end with a smile on my face :).

I Am, Bush_Locked

Just like Sher-locked

I guess you all know by now how I chose my blog name. For the past one week I have been  Sherlock Holmes’ biggest fan. Yesterday I watched one of my favorite Sherlock Holmes episode in the new series season 2. I thought it was ingenious. I still wonder how he could not have figured out that the password to the phone was his name all along!!

Having been working for the past three months 24/7, rather 12/7 makes me feel like someone needs to key in a password and free me from this place. I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but am well deserved for a break. For now, am excited to catch episode 2 of the same later on. This guy Sherlock, wish I had a brain like his :).

I Am, Bush-Locked